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Thursday, 02 April 2009

  • You are more eager to listen, but am I ready to talk?

    It's been a different sort of few weeks. Different good or bad, I really can't tell. Basically speaking I finally admitted a couple of things to my parents. Not those big horrific life changing secrets revealed, but more or less admitted my thoughts/feelings/reasons behind why I made some of the decisions I did in my life.

    One example: I had wanted (and felt I was finally ready for) braces ever since about Grade 10     but never said a peep. And while we ho and hummed about it a few more years slipped by while I hoped, and kept calculating in my head "if I can get braces now, maybe I can be done with them in time for Graduation." That thought slowly turned into "if I get them now, maybe I can be down to retainers by Graduation." That was one vain part of me: I didn't want to always look back at my grad pictures with braces on. (As it turns out I rarely look at those pictures anyhow).

    Graduation came and went, and I still hadn't gotten braces. And finally when I started liking my smile (realizing when I did move the appropriate muscles, the flaws were still somewhat hidden), I was informed we could try again for braces. All of a sudden there felt like a big rush from my parents. I had to get the consults and go through all the prep motions as fast as I could, as soon as I could. (Though I still haven't told them), I admit to myself that I hated it. After all those years of hawing and humming (truth be told, for various valid reasons), they were now so pushy? So I got my revenge in a sense - it was my turn to haw and hum and let the chance go by. And now I'm not sure if I'll ever have the same hopeful anticipation for braces. Maybe I won't go - heck, it will save at least five grand.

    But the point I want to make is that the situation has changed. When I was young and growing up, there was always this big rush, always this worry in the back of our heads. We were almost starting over - we were unsure if we would make it this time. We did, (and thus we were lucky), but looking back there were never any really family chats around dinner - it was just asking how our days were, the answer would usually be "fine" and after we were done eating we would clean up and that would be it. I can never remember having a whole lot of deep-hearted chats with my folks because frankly, I didn't know how to ask.

    I felt like I wanted to ask on some level, but every time I opened my mouth it seemed I would get in trouble for it. (For the record, I think my EQ is horrible). So with that kind of track record, I felt like I was more successful in keeping my mouth shut. It's true - I will be the last person in the room to stand up and opening state my opinions - unless it is something that has really offended me.

    So now it just seems easier to not talk about it. I say a lot of things easily to my folks, like how my day went, what sorts of funny things went on with the people I know, events that I'm going to on the weekend, etc. But in terms of really talking to them and asking them things a girl might have been curious about (ex. the dreaded sex talk, insecurities about how my body is changing), I fall flat.

    Things have changed now, and somehow we've found the time to slow down. My parents are more receptive to listening to my questions. I feel like I want to ask them so much, but I really don't know where to begin. I have become more comfortable with being silent.

Wednesday, 25 February 2009

  • So here I am in all my supposed wisdom, and I'm still not entirely sure how to answer this question whenever it happens to come up.

    "So what grade are you in?"

    For those of you who know me, I take those questions as a compliment.

Monday, 23 February 2009

  • Sometimes I know I shouldn't feel this way, but I can't help it. Sometimes it feels like I'm drifting further from those I had hoped I would always stay somewhat close to. Now I can hope it's just because we've moved on to different areas in our lives and those moves have happened at different times. We've gone to different schools, worked (or for most it's still present tense) at different places at different times. Maybe to a certain extent our interests are starting to drift apart. I can only (hopefully not foolishly) hope that no matter what, we'll still keep in touch, get together once in awhile.

    Maybe I just feel a bit down because I tried to organize an event and a couple of people had to cancel because of work. Not like I was ever a social butterfly before, but someone else pointed out to me the reason he had stopped talking to me so often was because I was dating a guy and had been dating that same guy for quite some time. To me that seemed weird because to me suddenly dating a guy doesn't mean that I now cut all my friends out of contact. I was never much of a social butterfly, but I did enjoy seeing my friends once in awhile. And now I wish I could find a way to still see my friends once in awhile, see him, and become friends with his friends too.

    I need/wish I could find a way to do better with the first and last things. Wish me luck.

Sunday, 01 February 2009

  • I've been working at my (seasonal) job for the past month or so. I consider that a good thing because it shows I am a valued employee (I hope), and I know how to do refunds. That was what I did for two weeks straight, I was one of the "refund specialists."

    Refunds are repetitive and exhausting in their own way. You always get people who come back trying to return stuff without a receipt, and opened packages when I'm sure somewhere along the line they were told if they open the package we can't take it back.

    We have this new system. If we swipe your student card during the transaction, we can keep track of which books (or other materials) you have bought. It's useful now because we are testing out a system where the store sends you an email listing out our buyback prices for your books. It's also useful because if you ever lose your receipt, and your student card was swiped at the time of purchase, we can recover that receipt.

    With that said, there was (and is) one main misconception I would not have otherwise known. The swiping of the student card is not a receipt replacement. You do not know how many times people have come to me and said "I-want-to-refund-this-book,-but-I-lost-my-receipt-but-I-have-my-student-card-here." Then they proceed to toss their student card onto the counter and stand back like I am going to fix everything. Yeah...I would, if my computer could access the system, and I would, if I had authority to access them. But both of them are a no-no. Also swiping the student card is not mandatory. Not everyone that shops there is a student, and I've gotten a few that were peeved at ME because I asked. One girl snapped at me (after I explained to her the receipt recovery thing) that she didn't want me to swipe her card (which I already did) because she was intent on not losing her receipt or needing a refund, and she did not want the store to see all of her personal info. Newsflash to her: All I saw was her fricken name. Most info has to be volunteered by the individual. After a similar explanation (because her mind had already leapt to the misconception up above), another girl also said to me "why should I give you my student card if it's just going to be a waste of my time to look up the receipt?" Well Missie, that's just fine with me, but don't come crying back when you need to return this book and you don't have your receipt.

    Maybe I should pause for a moment and give thanks to all the people who do remember their receipts when they are returning books. A ton of them have their reciepts pressed so nicely into their books that my clothing is more wrinkled than that piece of paper.

    Now, back to the other people. Or mainly a few girls that almost peeved me the other day. A girl comes to my counter with a couple of her friends, wants to return a book. Okay, that's fine. She's lost (misplaced?) her receipt. Okay...did she get her card swiped when she bought the textbook? She thinks and realizes that the cashier did not swipe the card. I tell her there's really not a whole lot we can do, especially if she's sure the receipt is at her residence and all she needs to do is dig a little deeper.

    So at this point I imagine her friend thought she would be smart and speak out.

    "So shouldn't it be the cashier's fault that they didn't swipe our student card?" (Cause all three of them had bought the same book.) "We've been here for five years and this is the first time someone has not swiped our cards." The other girls nod in agreement.

    Okay, now I know that is a bit of bull. Firstly, I was at this place for five years myself and it was only in the past THREE OR SO that this thing was even in place. It was certainly not done for the whole five years.
    Secondly, if it's the cashier's fault for not swiping your student card, it is even more of your friend's F****** fault for losing the receipt! Go to most other places and try to return something without a receipt, see how much of a ruckus you think you can make with that statement.

    But on the outside, there was nothing "appropriate" to say to the customer.
    She probably thought she won the argument. Drat.

    At least I am gaining great customer service experience.

Saturday, 24 January 2009

  • Currently
    Ever the Same
    By Rob Thomas
    see related

    You only gave me love

    Dear R.F.,

    I still can't believe I am thinking about you. It's been four and a half years. If I could ever classify a guy as being "the one that got away", you would win, hands down. Not sure if that is good or bad.

    I keep wishing and hoping I will run into you again one day, someday. I know you are happily married now, (your daughter must be growing so fast) and I would never want to jeopardize that. But all these years I was hoping that someway, somehow, I could run into you again to show you I've grown up into the person you saw inside of me all those years ago. The person you saw and loved, but it was the person I couldn't be. Not yet. I'm not sure where we would have ended up if we had taken this road, but I can't second guess myself. Not now; we are both doing just fine.

    For the short time we knew each other, you made me happy. The weight was lifted from my shoulders, because I didn't have to guess. You made me smile, you made me laugh. You made me feel like I had a fighting chance amongst the rest of the population in the world, and I can only hope I made you happy as well. It took me another four years before I found another guy in the same category. Or rather he found me, just like you did.

    I've been working up a list of all these things to say to you if I ever got the chance, but I have a feeling if I ever did get it, I would get tongue tied. Maybe we will run into each other some day. And maybe by that time, I will smile at you and you will smile back at me, and we will go on and do just fine.

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